Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
