when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So vagazzling was a success
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
