that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
