i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
