oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
