I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
