I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
