do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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