I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
