I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Farmville is her only friend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
