Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
