day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
