Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
