my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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