"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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