yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
