I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
