best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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