im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
