On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
