my phone needs a breathalizer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
