Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize