Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
