Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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