He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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