do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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