I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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