We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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