her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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