I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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