and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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