Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
