is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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