I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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