If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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