I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
