she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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