I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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