just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
