just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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