I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
