Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
