Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
