I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
