How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
