dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
