I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
