Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
