This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
