fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
