Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
