I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
